i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
