just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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