you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
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I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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