How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
