This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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