We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
