It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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