she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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