oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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