I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize