She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
please don't ironically join a cult
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