You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
