I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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