while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When did angry sex become our thing?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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