If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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