Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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