If i come over, it means nothing
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
this is an emotional support booty call
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
