all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
