shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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