mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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