is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
FUCK WHALES
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
