i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
