So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
