I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize