i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize