i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
