Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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