I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
