: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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