Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
