When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
