Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
