Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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