my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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