just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
