If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She even gives head with a lisp.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
