did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need water and some morals
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize