So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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