No awkward lesbian experiences without me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
