As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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