first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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