Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize