omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
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If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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