so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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