That's intense
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
