For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
