idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
