I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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