...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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