lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Someone signed my nipple.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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