whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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