which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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