She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I sprained my soul last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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