Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
