cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize