i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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