Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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